Wednesday, 9 July 2008

The Internet is AWESOME!

Hurrah! 

I have the internet again at my new house in sheffield. I never realized how addicted to the internet I was until I couldn't actually use it. No YouTube, No Facebook, No Myspace, No Email, No Redtube, No News*, No online banking, No shopping for cheap shit on eBay. Now I know how cripples/amputees must feel as I felt disabled... Turns out I do far too much online - But now all is well again!

I wonder what the world was like before the internet? In the dark times I would have had to actually leave my house to talk to my friends** I would have to have to go to dodgy back alley XXX video shops to see filthy porn, I would have actually had to go to a cash machine to check my bank balance, buy a newspaper to find out what happened in the world and I would actually have to go to a shop to buy stuff. It's Unthinkable! I don't have the attention span to do any of that stuff unless I can do it via a mouse click.

The only thing that sucks about the internet*** is that when you order the internet you have to wait for the delivery of your equipment. The only thing that sucks about deliveries**** is that the generally deliver in the morning time. I am not a morning person and I have a habit of sleeping through the 10 minutes of door banging. In an effort to receive the equipment on time I left this note in the window.

"Dear Home Delivery Network/BT Broadband,

If I don't answer the door, please call me on [insert mobile number here]... I am in today, I'm just really crap at hearing the door / getting up. 

P.S. attention potential burglars, I will hear you, so don't even bother trying to rob me."

I literally have no idea what has happened in the world until about 20 minutes ago.
** Although my mates are awesome, I reckon if I had to leave my house to talk to them I would not be friends with many people.
*** Other than all the spam you have to wade through on a daily basis.
**** Other than everything about deliveries. This statement just sucks the most.