Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Fuck Hollywood, Fuck it in its stupid fucking asshole

Do you ever get the feeling that Hollywood just isn't trying anymore?* I certainly do. 

Don't get me wrong, I love the film industry, I like films and I enjoy the film as a means ofentertainment. I have a fairly substantial film collection on DVD and I have a list of favourite films larger than my own inflated ego. I have a subscription at my local cinema and in 2007 I saw about 80% of all the films that came out**

Still, I can't help but feel that Hollywood are now releasing any old garbage to make a quick buck. I'm sorry hollywood, but get the lead out. Go back to the drawing board and start releasing decent films again. I really don't care about 90% of the films that are the upcoming releases list. I remember when Hollywood churned out good films, great action films, hilarious comedies and Nerd-tastic epics like Lord of the Rings. Now all we have to look forward to is awesome films like four christmases.

The last time I went to the cinema, there was a trailer for a film called "Donkey Punch***" A film named after a retarded sexual act. it then proceeded to bore me to death with a plot outline that was obviously invented when the idea barrel had been well and truly emptied writing the next "date movie" type film. Seriously this film looks so weak it's not even funny. It is a typical horror / slasher film... YAWN. Scream was OK, I know what you did last summer was mediocre at best and Hostel is the worst film of all time. All this begs the question: Why do we still get this shit rammed down our throats?

It has got to the point where the only films I get excited about have either Seth Rogan or Will Ferrell in them. This is the normal reaction to such a film but I also like other films too. I wanted to get excited by more than one film each year, is that too much to ask? Apparently so... Until then here's to the next romantic comedy that will inevitably bore the shit out of you in a cinema nearby.

* If you answered no, just go and look at the trailers at your local cinema. You will soon realise that Hollywood doesn't care for you or what you like.

** Obviously I didn't go and see any bollywood films or chick flicks. I am not stupid.

*** For those of you not in the know, a donkey punch is a sexual practice that involves punching a woman in the ass during intercourse. Not sure why, but it is amusing none the less.